YOU WOULDN’T TRY AND PUT AN ICEE LID ON A POT OF SPAGHETTI, WOULD YOU?

So why is it that whenever the person you’re crushing on doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings, we automatically blame ourselves? We start to think, “Fuck. I came on too strong again.” Or, “If only I had said/done/worn this….”

NO.

FUCK THAT.

Just because the lid doesn’t fit the pot doesn’t make the lid any less of a lid or the pot any less of a pot.

I am guilty of this. Whenever I don’t get a text back or a second date, or even a swipe back on Tinder, I always think of what I did wrong or how I could’ve been better. But today I decided: FUCK THAT. I have always been a firm believer in soulmates. Call me a hopeless romantic (or naïve) but I totally believe that God put someone on this Earth just for me. Now, where is he? I don’t know. But, knowing me, he is probably miles away drinking a margarita before 5 P.M and shoving his face with pizza. A girl can dream. My perfect lid is somewhere out there. But from this day on, I will no longer try and modify myself to fit to someone else.

I have always been described by men as “too much to handle” and while I think they mean it as a compliment, I never really took it that way. What about me is too much? Am I too loud? Too forward? Too smart? Too tall? Too emotional? WHAT IS IT? What exactly is it about me that you can’t handle? I am ashamed to tell you that those questions have left me with many sleepless nights. I do not know why it has taken me twenty years to learn that I am not “too much” of anything. I happen to like that you can hear me above everyone else at the dinner table and that I am up front with my feelings and that I know weird facts about presidents that have been dead for over 25 years. I like that I can reach the top shelf of anyone’s cabinets and I like that sometimes I cry whenever I hear a song that reminds me of someone I used to know. And you know what? My future lovers should too. We all have our flaws but me being “too much” for someone is not one of mine.

I might have been “too much” for the guy that ghosted me last week or for my ex-boyfriend. But for someone out there I am just enough. I will not break my lid trying to fit your pot.

I am not too much… you are just too little.

Your Searching Soul,

Angelena